"What? I'm comfortable."

xo

Oscar

Extend

No excuse for not blogging for a week.

Except that the Legislative Session is never going to end, it's painfully sunny outside, and we just opened [title of show] last night.

 The opening of the show has left me relieved and giddy. I was pitifully nervous just two hours before curtain, and I was convinced that I had a fever. I dry-heaved in the public restroom at the theatre, and kicked myself for being so freaked out. I hung my head low, and walked into the last minute rehearsal embarrassed that I had let myself get sick. We worked on light cues, and I held my head in my hands, breathed through my mouth, and felt my back get sweaty. The lights were making me dizzy, and I wondered if I was getting a migraine. I had just popped an Advil, and I wondered if it would ever kick in. Right when I was about to run home, to bury my head in my big pillow and cry-we sang. I don't know if it was the Advil, or the realization that I better get it together, but suddenly I felt fine. I began to belt out, and I looked at my cast mates with excitement. We were about to open our show.

The relief was palpable in the dressing room. We were ready. And the audience loved it. The crowd laughed hard from beginning to end. And my voice cracked. I tripped over my lines. I forgot to move the set. I think I even spit on someone sitting in the front row. But it didn't matter. It was a freaking blast. And I can't wait to do it again tonight.

xo

Alli

Unfurled

Last Tuesday, I was lucky enough to sing with the [title of show] cast at the Alaska Folk Festival. We were allowed a 15 minute time slot, and we were geared up to sing four songs to promote the real show, which opens next weekend. The Folk Fest attracts thousands of people, and I would be singing a solo. Alone. On Stage. With only a piano, a microphone, a hall of people, and all the people tuning in on the radio to listen LIVE!

I was paralyzed with nerves.

When we got on stage, I relaxed a bit, because I saw two of my favorite people right on the front row: Johanna and Johanna (two different people, but both equally awesome). Their smiling faces calmed my knocking knees.  I sang a duet with Kari, and the audience seemed engaged, and laughed at all the right moments.

Then I had to sing my solo. The song is called Way Back to Then. It is about remembering all the dreams you had when you were a ten-year-old, growing up, going to college, working in the real world, and letting the day to day habits of life get in the way of childhood confidence. And out of no where, realizing that even though life may have seemed to get in the way of your dreams, your life was bringing to exactly where you want to be.

As I was singing, and smiling at the crowd, and expressing the meaning of the song as best I could (while feeling completely terrified and vulnerable), I reached these words of the song:

"When you least expect, opportunity walks through the door. You suddenly connect with the thing that you forgot that you were looking for. And there you are! Right in the middle of what you love. With the craziest of company, you're having a kick-ass time, and being who you wanted to be in this world!"

AND I WAS! I was in that moment that the song describes.  I was having a kick-ass time! I was right in the middle of what I love! I was being exactly who I have always wanted to be. BUT right as I realized that I was connected, honest, and confident, tears started flowing. Out of my eyes. Suddenly my voice was cracking, and I felt nose-tears running onto my lips. But I had to finish the song. I didn't know what was happening, only that I had to finish the song while controlling my emotions, so I wouldn't need to blow my nose before the final song. After a couple of beats, I was officially crying. I was so surprised at myself, and totally confused. In every other play that I've been in, I've had to dig for the emotion. Really try to force myself to cry. This was so unlike every other acting experience. The emotions were right there. For everyone to see. I was crying because I realized that I was exactly where I wanted to be, and I couldn't even sing through my tears. I reached the last phrase, and I had to pause for what felt like pregnant minutes, but really probably only a couple of seconds. In that pause, all the air in the room was gone. Nobody was there. I made two fists, put my head down, squeezed my eyes shout, pushing out the pool of tears, opened them, and cracked the last phrase:


"You're that little girl, with her wings unfurled. Flying again. Back in the backyard dancing, I found a way back to then."


xo
Alli

Mommy Visit

Last weekend, I had a perfect little visit from my Mama. She sent me some pictures that she took while she was here, and I think she really captured me in my day to day environment. Here is a little peak at what she saw. Picture Heavy

 Me in the House Finance Committee room. This isn't where I work everyday, but I did page here last year. I have some fond memories of late night meetings. The legislators stayed awake with the help of red vines, coffee, and doughnuts.

 Mom and I sitting in the chairmans' seats.

 The ladies of the Senate Finance Committee. I adore these women.

 

 Mama and I in the dressing room of The Importance of Being Earnest.

 Displaying my wiglet.

 Some of the cast and crew of Earnest: Christina ("Gwendolyn"), Fiona (our doting costumer), Hannah (our stage manager), me, and Dan ("Jack).

 Jeff cooking up his delicious signature pizza for us.

 Waiting to eat some fresh and buttery Alaska King Salmon.

 Me and Jeff in the Senate Finance Committee room. Check out the senators in the background, probably discussing some deal. Or maybe talking about what was on TV the night before.

And, of course, Mom and I venturing out into the cold and rain to check out the little pump house on Sandy Beach. It was horrible weather the entire time she was here, but she wasn't fazed at all. Unlike me-I got cold on this outing, and demanded we go back home.

xo

Alli

Last Glimpse



getting ready to perform for my mama in the closing performance

My beautiful Mama came to visit over the weekend, and I was sad to see her go today. She came to three Earnest performances, and laughed her way through all of them. She supported me in a rehearsal for [title of show], and cried with me when I sang my ballad. She walked with me on the beach in the freezing rain. She delightfully ate up the delicious meals that Jeff made for us. She came to the Capitol, and took pictures of me working. She loved my friends. She loved Jeff. She told me she was proud of me.

Like I said-I am sad that she left.

xo
Alli

PS-I'll post pics of her trip soon.
PPS-I'm working on a post about how much I've fallen in love with my kindle. Happy Monday!

One left

(rehearsal photos)

Only one more performance, and then we are all done. We will put the play to rest, never to experience it again. Cecily is on left to live in photographs, memories, and split ends. Screw guns whirl, and the enormous set will crumble. Names are peeled off of mirrors, wigs are washed, and costumes are put back into storage.

(performance photos)

photos courtesy of Perseverance Theatre

 "It is always painful to part from people to whom one has known for a very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity, but even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced is almost unbearable." -Cecily The Importance of Being Earnest 

Goodbye Earnest!

XO
Alli

Kindle Me This

I was lucky enough to have yesterday afternoon off from work, so I could do some laundry and tidy up my life a bit before Mama gets here tomorrow. I was also hoping my kindle would arrive while I was home. While I was lounging on the bed, painting my toe nails (it was ESSENTIAL that I paint my toe nails. It had been too long) I heard a knock at the door. I rushed to answer it, but the UPS truck was already pulling away. "Wait! WAIT! I'm here I want my package!" I yelled to the big brown truck.

The UPS guy poked his head out, smiled, and said, "It's on the porch!"

I looked down, grabbed the little package, and giggled with delight. I ran inside, and slammed the door. I didn't even have time to be embarrassed that I yelled at the UPS man.

I ripped it open, read a little tiny bit of the user guide, and immediately uploaded Mockingjay. I had the library book, but I was barely half way through it. I chose to finish reading it on the kindle, and it has been quite an adjustment. I had heard that it would be weird going from paper books to a plastic electronic device, and it really is strange. As I was reading in bed last night, I didn't fight to keep the book open, I didn't smell the ink on the pages, I didn't accidentally get a paper cut, and I had to remind myself a couple of times that I was in fact reading a book. Even though it was a different reading experience, I am ready to get used to it. I am already grateful for the added space on my nightstand and in my backpack. 

Since I haven't had time to knit a case for it, I am using one of my favorite stocking caps as its temporary sleeve. It has worked out pretty well so far.

xo
Alli

Two Nobodies in New York

Flordelino and Enrique rehearsing music for [title of show].

xo

Alli

Shoot it up. Burn it up.

Jeff went to a Legislative shooting event, and out shot Alaska Congressman Don Young. He's pictured here displaying his targets, right before we had to use them as kindling for a beach bonfire.

 The targets burned well, and helped to dry out the wood. We delightfully grilled some bratwurst, and ate quickly so I could jaunt over to the theatre for a performance.

Now I need to memorize my lines for [title of show]. We are coming upon the last weekend of Earnest, next week is the last week of session, the cast of [title of show] is performing at Folk Fest next week, and then the next weekend we open [title of show]! And not to mention, my mama is coming to town this weekend. Sheesh. So much to look forward to.

xo
Alli

Happy Birthday Dad

Sometimes I need to contain myself when I talk about my dad. I need to keep in crazy excited emotions, because I can easily say, "No, really! You don't understand. My dad is the most incredible person I have ever known!"

Here are just some of the many adjectives I use to describe him:

This picture was taken in Skagway, Alaska  in 2003. 

Protective. Spiritual. Modest. Sensitive. Brilliant. Ambitious. Trustworthy. Decent. Hilarious. Quirky. Honest. Poetic. Silly.  Understanding. Benevolent. Gentle. Brave. Strong. Supportive. Adventurous. Peaceful. Patient.

I miss my dad so much today. He lives in Utah. I wish I lived closer to him, but I know he thinks Alaska is pretty cool. I can't wait to see him at the end of May.

xo

Alli

emile's bath

My mom gets here on Friday.

I can't wait.

And we are making sure everything gets clean.

Including Emile.

I should have taking some shots of him trying to dry off, by kicking/flicking his feet.

Good kitty. 

xo

Alli

intermission

costume stock: black shoes and belts

lady bracknell & gwendolyn fairfax

very important, and often broken, rule

bird on qwendolyn's hat

bird on lady bracknell's hat

my ("cecily's") necklace

xo

Alli

Fools!

This is pretty incredible! I can't wait to try it.

Also, did you hear-
Ryan Seacrest Eaten by a Cobra!

Happy April everyone!
xo
Alli