Spinning with Delight

On Sunday, Jeff and I took a day trip to Palmer to attend the Alaska State Fair. Both Jeff and I love the fair: the farm animals, fried food, vendors, exhibits, and demonstrations. I am always drawn into the Fiber Arts exhibit, and this year was no different. I was smiling with pleasure as I examined intricate lace crocheted by teenagers, and elaborate color knitting created by seasoned veterans. I didn't enter any items into the fair, but each year decide that next year is my year for a ribbon.

As I was walked the Fiber Arts aisle, I was immediately awed by a row of spinners. There was a line of about six people just spinning away and chatting. I snuck up to one spinner who was allowing a child to touch the roving wool, and I shamelessly asked if I could also "touch the roving." She must have seen my huge smile, and asked me if I knit. I shyly replied that I am just a wee bit obsessed with knitting, and she shared her love of wool with me.

She told me how she bought her spinning wheel used ($120!), and learned to spin so she could weave her family's tartan. She told me wear she gets her wool, and explained that she loved raw wool because of the lovely lanolin that softens her hands as she spins. I was still smiling and listening, when she stood up and said, "Come on over. Sit down. Try it."

I was stunned.

"Really?!"

"Of course." She smiled and waved me in.

I sat down, scared, and she talked me through the motions. I moved the spinning wheel by pumping the pedal with my foot and "pinched and fed" the wool through the machine.

She was unbelievably sweet, and said loudly, "I've never seen anyone pick it up this easy."

I was like...yeah right...

I felt like a five-year-old.

I could have stayed there all afternoon.

I excitedly thanked her, and she said to a neighboring spinner, "Hey, do we have any drop spindles left?"

The other sweet woman, dug into a large sack and pulled out a little cloth bag full of roving and a drop spindle. She showed me how to spin on a drop spindle, and I could not get the Mists of Avalon out of my head.

I was, again, gitty with delight at the little spinning stick. She smiled at me, and handed it to me.

"Here ya go."
"What? You're giving this to me?"
She laughed. "Of course. Have fun."

I was stunned and overwhelmed at the seemingly random niceness of these women. It was like I was sucked into some old world tradition of the necessity to pass on the art of spinning. I'm so excited to get to know the little spindle, and maybe someday graduate to a spinning wheel. I floated out of the fair thinking about my sweet free souvenir, and all its possibilities.

But mostly I just felt like a child who was given a sucker at the bank. AKA-awesome.

Now I just need a little lamb.

 xo
Alli

"Oh, it's the end of the road. Oh, what a long row we hoed."

It's all over. The months of anticipation and rehearsals and performances are now officially complete. I can get sick as a dog, and lose my voice-but it doesn't matter. I don't need it. I feel incredibly relieved and truly satisfied. The last four performances of [title of show] were sort of magnetic. There was a connection with each other, with the script, with the music, and with the audience. And I could feel the electricity. I would come home every night bummed knowing I only had a couple more chances to have that feeling again. I am excited to audition again, but I am going to embrace this little bit of freedom for awhile. There are old Friends episodes to watch, loads of yarn to knit up, mountains to hike, and a boyfriend and cat and pup to cuddle.

xo
Alli

Extend

No excuse for not blogging for a week.

Except that the Legislative Session is never going to end, it's painfully sunny outside, and we just opened [title of show] last night.

 The opening of the show has left me relieved and giddy. I was pitifully nervous just two hours before curtain, and I was convinced that I had a fever. I dry-heaved in the public restroom at the theatre, and kicked myself for being so freaked out. I hung my head low, and walked into the last minute rehearsal embarrassed that I had let myself get sick. We worked on light cues, and I held my head in my hands, breathed through my mouth, and felt my back get sweaty. The lights were making me dizzy, and I wondered if I was getting a migraine. I had just popped an Advil, and I wondered if it would ever kick in. Right when I was about to run home, to bury my head in my big pillow and cry-we sang. I don't know if it was the Advil, or the realization that I better get it together, but suddenly I felt fine. I began to belt out, and I looked at my cast mates with excitement. We were about to open our show.

The relief was palpable in the dressing room. We were ready. And the audience loved it. The crowd laughed hard from beginning to end. And my voice cracked. I tripped over my lines. I forgot to move the set. I think I even spit on someone sitting in the front row. But it didn't matter. It was a freaking blast. And I can't wait to do it again tonight.

xo

Alli

Unfurled

Last Tuesday, I was lucky enough to sing with the [title of show] cast at the Alaska Folk Festival. We were allowed a 15 minute time slot, and we were geared up to sing four songs to promote the real show, which opens next weekend. The Folk Fest attracts thousands of people, and I would be singing a solo. Alone. On Stage. With only a piano, a microphone, a hall of people, and all the people tuning in on the radio to listen LIVE!

I was paralyzed with nerves.

When we got on stage, I relaxed a bit, because I saw two of my favorite people right on the front row: Johanna and Johanna (two different people, but both equally awesome). Their smiling faces calmed my knocking knees.  I sang a duet with Kari, and the audience seemed engaged, and laughed at all the right moments.

Then I had to sing my solo. The song is called Way Back to Then. It is about remembering all the dreams you had when you were a ten-year-old, growing up, going to college, working in the real world, and letting the day to day habits of life get in the way of childhood confidence. And out of no where, realizing that even though life may have seemed to get in the way of your dreams, your life was bringing to exactly where you want to be.

As I was singing, and smiling at the crowd, and expressing the meaning of the song as best I could (while feeling completely terrified and vulnerable), I reached these words of the song:

"When you least expect, opportunity walks through the door. You suddenly connect with the thing that you forgot that you were looking for. And there you are! Right in the middle of what you love. With the craziest of company, you're having a kick-ass time, and being who you wanted to be in this world!"

AND I WAS! I was in that moment that the song describes.  I was having a kick-ass time! I was right in the middle of what I love! I was being exactly who I have always wanted to be. BUT right as I realized that I was connected, honest, and confident, tears started flowing. Out of my eyes. Suddenly my voice was cracking, and I felt nose-tears running onto my lips. But I had to finish the song. I didn't know what was happening, only that I had to finish the song while controlling my emotions, so I wouldn't need to blow my nose before the final song. After a couple of beats, I was officially crying. I was so surprised at myself, and totally confused. In every other play that I've been in, I've had to dig for the emotion. Really try to force myself to cry. This was so unlike every other acting experience. The emotions were right there. For everyone to see. I was crying because I realized that I was exactly where I wanted to be, and I couldn't even sing through my tears. I reached the last phrase, and I had to pause for what felt like pregnant minutes, but really probably only a couple of seconds. In that pause, all the air in the room was gone. Nobody was there. I made two fists, put my head down, squeezed my eyes shout, pushing out the pool of tears, opened them, and cracked the last phrase:


"You're that little girl, with her wings unfurled. Flying again. Back in the backyard dancing, I found a way back to then."


xo
Alli

Last Glimpse



getting ready to perform for my mama in the closing performance

My beautiful Mama came to visit over the weekend, and I was sad to see her go today. She came to three Earnest performances, and laughed her way through all of them. She supported me in a rehearsal for [title of show], and cried with me when I sang my ballad. She walked with me on the beach in the freezing rain. She delightfully ate up the delicious meals that Jeff made for us. She came to the Capitol, and took pictures of me working. She loved my friends. She loved Jeff. She told me she was proud of me.

Like I said-I am sad that she left.

xo
Alli

PS-I'll post pics of her trip soon.
PPS-I'm working on a post about how much I've fallen in love with my kindle. Happy Monday!

One left

(rehearsal photos)

Only one more performance, and then we are all done. We will put the play to rest, never to experience it again. Cecily is on left to live in photographs, memories, and split ends. Screw guns whirl, and the enormous set will crumble. Names are peeled off of mirrors, wigs are washed, and costumes are put back into storage.

(performance photos)

photos courtesy of Perseverance Theatre

 "It is always painful to part from people to whom one has known for a very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity, but even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced is almost unbearable." -Cecily The Importance of Being Earnest 

Goodbye Earnest!

XO
Alli

Two Nobodies in New York

Flordelino and Enrique rehearsing music for [title of show].

xo

Alli

Shoot it up. Burn it up.

Jeff went to a Legislative shooting event, and out shot Alaska Congressman Don Young. He's pictured here displaying his targets, right before we had to use them as kindling for a beach bonfire.

 The targets burned well, and helped to dry out the wood. We delightfully grilled some bratwurst, and ate quickly so I could jaunt over to the theatre for a performance.

Now I need to memorize my lines for [title of show]. We are coming upon the last weekend of Earnest, next week is the last week of session, the cast of [title of show] is performing at Folk Fest next week, and then the next weekend we open [title of show]! And not to mention, my mama is coming to town this weekend. Sheesh. So much to look forward to.

xo
Alli

intermission

costume stock: black shoes and belts

lady bracknell & gwendolyn fairfax

very important, and often broken, rule

bird on qwendolyn's hat

bird on lady bracknell's hat

my ("cecily's") necklace

xo

Alli

My days are full of exactly what I want to be doing.
And I might get tired, or overwhelmed, or critical, or anxious.
But I am grateful for little moments when I can take a breath, and remember that this is all pretty dang fun.
This photo was taken at a vocal rehearsal for title of show.

Happy rainy Thursday!

xo
Alli

Hello from the Dressing Room!

I call this "Big Eye. Little Eye."

In the background: Scarlett/"Miss Prism" and Patricia/"Lady Bracknell."

Gotta get on stage. Hannah just called places!

xo
Alli

I Found Santa

I got a special treat, last weekend. My dear friend, Margeaux, came down from Skagway to see Earnest. We got all caught up on the local gossip, and I was thrilled to catch up with an old friend.

She even left a little gifty in my dressing room: SANTA!

This weird Santa statuette was left at the Red Onion five years ago, by a tourist. Since then, the madams have hid it throughout the brothel, even sent it to each other around the US for years for birthdays, special occasions, and just to scare people with the remembrance of Santa in the brothel museum. Meredith even left it in my shower at my parent's house in Salt Lake City. It's the perfect inside joke, that seems to live on past even a little child's belief in Santa.

I wonder what madam will get a little surprise Santa next...hehehe.

xo

Alli

Die Vampire, Die!

One of my favorite songs from [title of show] is "Die Vampire Die." It is sung by Susan, who is a very self-conscious character. She even states in the play that she has major stage fright and insecurities when she sings in front of people, but she is the first to crush anyone's doubts in their own abilities. She proclaims that when we feel doubt or fear or question ourselves, it's just a vampire sucking out our creative spirit. I could listen to this song over and over and over, and think of my own vampires that I want to just kill.


What are your vampires?

[title of show] rehearsals

Have begun! I thought it would be too tricky to maneuver work, rehearsals, and performances, but it has been delightfully busy. Coming home tired from acting, singing, dancing, and washing off stage make-up is actually thrilling. Even though I do long for a little more Jeff time.

I am falling more and more in love with the script for [title of show]. It is about two guys writing musical, in fact the whole show is about the writing of [title of show]. It sounds a little odd, but it is actually very clever, funny, and full of heart. My favorite thing about the show is that it addresses artist insecurity, and it is incredibly inspiring. It reminds me that I can really do anything, like write a musical! Not that I want to write a musical, but we all have something in us. As I have addressed numerous times: I have crippling doubt. [title of show] reminds us that we all have insecurities, but we can really do and have anything we desire.

Check out Flordelino Lagundino's blog for a little behind the scenes action.

Also-the performance page.

And of course-the incredible song I get to sing! This video is of the original Heidi. And when I say "original Heidi", I mean the woman who literally created the role. The part of Heidi is this actual woman! Make sense? good.

Time to memorize some music.

xo

Alli

Opening Earnest



Photo Courtesy of the Juneau Empire

We opened Earnest last Friday, and I was overflowing with nerves and emotions. All day on Friday, I was feeling-

Insecurity. Even though I have rehearsed the show for over a month, the confidence I felt in the small rehearsal hall is waining. Now, I have to get up in front of everyone I know in Juneau, and beg for them to enjoy themselves. I might be performing, and seem like I'm having a good time, but all I can think is "What the crap am I doing with my hands? I look like an idiot! These aren't my hands, they are just two huge cinder blocks hanging from my shoulders! Stand up straight! Suck in your gut! Why didn't I work out more during the rehearsal period? Who am I kidding?! Why didn't I work out AT ALL during rehearsals?! I sound so weird when I say that line. Does that even make sense?! Do people talk like that? Quit squinting. Quit smiling. Quit frowning. Stop being so insecure! STOP YELLING AT ME!" All of that is screaming in my head before I even finish saying my first line. So, tell me again, why do I like acting in plays?

Excitement. This is obvious and almost palpable once I get in the dressing room. Everyone is skipping, fresh-faced, making horrible jokes, and laughing at those horrible jokes. Running lines with ridiculous high pitched southern accents, and then suddenly shushing each other because we're afraid the audience will hear us horsing around. Patting each other on the back, going through superstitious routines, and making sure we don't spray hairspray on each other. But when the stage manager calls "places", I feel nothing but...

Fear. I am terrified of performing! Isn't everybody? The moment I step on stage, my entire body goes into panic mode and a feeling of survival kicks in. It only happens for a split second, but it is the reason I love acting. I am always terrified of the audience, but I was recently reminded that no matter how critical, cynical, or intellectual an audience member might be-they are there to see me. Who cares if they don't like what they see? It's like climbing a huge mountain, with the eventual feeling of...

Satisfaction. After the very first rehearsal for Earnest, I did not think I would be able to memorize all those crazy lines. How could I possibly create a this beloved character? Would anyone get it? Would anyone laugh? Would people be bored? There is no way to know in rehearsal. It's only when we perform, and feel the relationship with the audience that satisfaction occurs. We opened, and the audience freaking loved it. I hope they can continue to love it for four more weekends!
I am pretty dang excited for the rest of the run.

xo
Alli aka Cecily

Studying Earnest

Rehearsals for The Importance of Being Earnest are in full swing. I am in falling in love with Oscar Wilde, and I want to know every little thing about him. Oh, if I only had the time to foster that obsession. For now, I can only study my script when I can, and google Wilde bits during my lunch break. 

I must truly fall in love with my character, Cecily, and make Cecily fall in love with Earnest, who is really Algernon. Oh, it's so complicated, but Emile keeps me company, while I try to study my lines.

 What the crap does Cecily mean in this line?

I obsess over the sound of the words and the way my mouth feels as I try to master the British accent.

"Yoo remigrehting. He has ghone up to bahee yoo droutfit."  ....not quite :/

xo ALli

No Saints Lane

A play about Skagway.
Written by someone who has never been there.
Inspired by the stories my best friend shared about her summers there.
It stars some of the most incredible actors I've ever seen perform.
I wish I could see it.
I wish Perseverance Theatre would produce it.

Photo courtesy of Coeurage Theatre Company

Spirit Bear

Friday night was the opening of Perseverance Theatre's The Blue Bear. The play is based on the book of the same name by Lynn Schooler.  It is a story of the friendship between a nature guide and wildlife photographer, as they search for the ever elusive blue bear or "glacier bear" as it's more widely known. A glacier bear is a black bear, but has a unique silvery white color. It's not a polar bear, but rather a glacier bear. These bears are incredibly rare, and you could live in Alaska your entire life, and never see one. In the end of the play, characters never find a glacier bear, but it's their friendship that was most important. The production was incredible, and one of the best plays I've seen at Perseverance.

The Spirit Bear

What was especially fun for me, as I was watching the play, was that I have actually seen one of these rare glacier bears. It happened a couple of years ago, while I was working in Skagway. I knew this particular glacier bear existed in the town, because it was already protected by the Department of Fish and Game, and it was known as The Spirit Bear.

Photo courtesy of Skagway News

It was nearing the end of the summer, and I was driving up to my friend's house on the side of the mountain. I saw what I thought was a huge dog walking toward me on the other side of the road. I slowed down, and realized it was a bear. And not just any bear-it was the Spirit Bear. He crossed in front of my car, stopped to look right at me, and then climbed up the side of the mountain. It was so alarming to see a bear, but most excited because it was the Spirit Bear. I was so affected and delighted by this encounter, and reeled from it for a few days. Sadly mere days after this spotting, the Spirit Bear got into someone's rabbit patch and was shot and killed. The town was so disturbed by the killing, they held a memorial service and even tried to have the shooter charged with animal cruelty.

The following summer, I lived in a cabin in the woods and heard something strange outside. Like a dying, hungry bird. I looked outside and saw a small, brown, black bear run across my front yard. I could hear it grunt with each stride. I was incredibly alarmed and afraid, but just after the bear crossed into the woods it came right back out with a little greyish white cub happily trotting behind. I guess that weird sound was the cub crying for its mama. I don't know if that little grey cub grew up to be a glacier bear, but I feel blessed that these little creatures have allowed me to witness a bit of their lives. One of the many reasons I love it up here.

xo
A

Singing Fools

Jeff and I are a part of the Juneau Holiday Pops Choir. We had our first performance yesterday, and it was the perfect way to feel the Christmas spirit. 

I am lucky enough to have a solo, singing "Winter Wonderland." It's completely out of my range, but I pretend like I know what I'm doing.

Now for some yoga before our final performance this afternoon.

Happy Snowy Sunday!

Wonderful Life

Southeast Alaska Decembers only give about six hours of sunlight a day. Being a town of friendly-happy-hippy-types, we try to find a way to keep our spirits up through the darkness. It is the time of year we take advantage of a little bit of local culture.

Perseverance Theatre is the Capital City's highlight. Currently "This Wonderful Life" is running, and it is a perfect holiday play. It's a one man show, starring Juneau's own Ed Christian. Ed is a Perseverance veteran. and one of Juneau's star actors.

In "This Wonderful Life" Ed plays a man who is thoroughly obsessed with the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." So obsessed, in fact, that he performs the entire movie. 

The movie was released in 1946, and is all about George Bailey. George Bailey is a small town man, who doesn't realize his own impact on the lives around him. One Christmas Eve, George is faced with financial ruin, and an angel saves him from taking his own life. The angel then shows George what his life would have been like, had he never been born. George sees that his little town would be run by a tyrant, his mother and wife would be lonely spinsters, his friends would be embittered, and the world would simply lack warmth.

Ed Christian seamlessly embodies Jimmy Stuart's portrayal of  George Bailey, and sparkles as he also becomes all of the supporting roles. It is so delightful to watch such a talented actor take on all of the roles, and equally delightful to be reminded of such a great story with a timeless message.

  

One of my best friends from childhood (her blog & her mother's blog), had a family Christmas tradition where they would watch "It's a Wonderful Life", and then afterward name a person in their own lives who was a "George Bailey." This is someone who literally made them who they are. Who touched their lives so deeply, the mere existence of their chosen "George Bailey" was crucial in the shaping of their character. (I only know about this tradition, because one year, my father was recognized as a "George Bailey")

Watching the play, "This Wonderful Life" made me ponder my own "George Bailey." I couldn't think of just one "George Bailey" in my life, so I made a list this morning. My first thought was (of course) my parents, but that seems too obvious. Like, DUH, of course I wouldn't be who I am without them. Although, they would be my number 1. :)

Here is my list of

"Alli's 2010 George Baileys":

*Julie Archer: My childhood music mentor. She gave me confidence in my singing voice. She taught me to sing in a choir, and was one of the first people to believe that I actually had a strong voice. She didn't look at me as an awkward teenager. She was able to see potential, and believed in me. I owe her my life as a performer.

*Tom Waldron: My high school choir teacher. He took music very seriously. To him, choral music was not easy, and discipline and practice were essential in choral music study. I was never afraid when Mr. Waldron was in charge. He was the first to show me that practice makes perfect.

*Liz Lavoie: My manager at the Red Onion in Skagway. Liz is inherently good. She doesn't fake it. It genuinely comes naturally. She is not quick to judge, and always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. She taught me to understand everyone's needs, and see that forgiveness reigns. She truly loves, and sees the good in the world.

*Meredith Hinckley Schmidt: HELLO! My best friend. This is probably obvious too, but from the moment we laughed together, we were hooked. My friendship with her, is the most successful relationship I've ever had. She supports me. I support her. It's impossible for me to imagine my life without her.

I could go on and on to include more, and I believe that we are all who we are because of each other. I hope to continue to appreciate all the good people in my life during Christmas. 

Happy Wednesday!

xo